Recipe for an American Christmas

Step 1: Christmas Mass: midnight or otherwise.  (Some of us are jet-lagged.)
Step 2: Prepare turkey.
Step 3: A Christmas Story
Step 4: Watch snow. With dignity.  We're not England.
Step 5: Open presents
Step 6: A Christmas Story
Step 7: Destroy Watch home movies
Step 8: Die of shame  Apologize to boyfriend for being forced to watch home movies  Christmas Carols
Step 9: A Christmas Story
Step 10: Eat.
Step 11- 14: Eat
Step 15: A Christmas Story
Step 16: Eat
Step 17: A Christmas Story
Step 18: Destroy home movies