Sweets for the sweet

After much research, Indian desserts have been placed into one of two categories:

1)       Delicious.

2)       Wet.

This weekend we made a stop at Halidram’s in Old Delhi for a paper dosa and dal.  (A paper dosa, for those who haven’t seen one, is longer than the size of an arm and hilarious to eat.  That’s a whole other post.)  Afterwards we postponed the 100-degree heat by browsing their exhaustive candy counter.  Your correspondent was put in charge of choosing the best cap to our meal, given my high level of experience.  The possibilities were virtually endless.

My personal favorite are the laddoo, little balls which (I think) are made from some sort of flour, sugar, butter, maybe milk, maybe nuts, and maybe other things.  I am certain that they taste exactly like biting into a big chunk of brown sugar.  A little gritty, sometimes a little gooey.  Not as gooey, though, as burfi, which is close to an unbaked granola bar: all sorts of bad-for-you ingredients just mooshed together.  Certain kinds of burfi are so rich they’re like fudge.  Halwa comes close to burfi, but it’s usually served warm. 

After much deliberation, I chose a few laddoo and we muched happily away.  Then, I turned to the desserts we didn’t choose.

First, I pointed out the gulab jamen.  From the outside, gulab jamun look very much like laddoo: little balls of dough.  They are, however, wet.  Eating a gulab jamun feels like eating a munchkin soaked in water.  Next to those were channa toast.  They look like bruschetta, but be careful!  Try to eat it with your fingers and you’ll have liquid sugar running down your arm before you can say “al dente”.  But it's most important to steer clear of the deceptive desserts, like the silver-wrapped fudgey ones whose underbellies hide a pool of syrup.  I should have known the first time I ordered one and was handed a spoon.  They are delicious on top, drippy on bottom.  The thought of it still makes me shudder.

There are rumors, however, of certain fancy restaurants who will serve gulab jamun doused in sherry, lit with a match.  It is my hypothesis that, truly, all wet desserts deserve to be set on fire.  I have to admit, though, a flaming wet donut may not be as bad as a cold wet donut.  Further research will be necessary ...